Man with Controlling Mother

by JAB
(Virginia)


Man with Controlling Mother


I'm dating a guy who is really nice, but I feel that I'm not getting everything I need out of the relationship. Every time we have conversation about things, he always says "My mother told me this or that" as if that is the answer I was looking for.

I do understand that his mother means a lot to him, but it's beginning to push me away. The reason for this is because I feel that at the age of 44, he should be able to state what he feels; not what he learned from his mom.

I also feel that he is not supportive in his relationships. I'm too scared to talk to him about things that bother me because he worships all things his mother states to him. He stated to me that his mother told him that women like to use men and that is why he is not romantic.

I'm to the point where I'm ready to give him permission to spend the rest of his life with his mother and her poor advice. The only reason why I'm still here is because I see a guy whose life is getting ruined because he listens to his mother who is really too opinionated and controlling. Should I walk away and let him lose out on a chance to see love for what it is?

Joyce

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Mar 21, 2011
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Does he want to change? Yes=Stay, No=Go
by: Graham

What you're asking for is for him to grow up from being a boy into being a man. It's not an unreasonable thing for a woman to want, but it's a big change for him. Unfortunately it's also a very common problem.

Given it's a big change, the question to ask is: Does he want it? If so, how badly? If he doesn't want to change, I suggest it's time to move on. If he does, he may be worth sticking by.

Get him to read this article about recovering from a controlling mother, and sense his reaction; is he excited about the prospect of change, or is it all too-hard or not-worth it?

Good luck! Graham

Mar 29, 2010
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Leave The Man with Controlling Mother
by: Anonymous

Leave The Man with Controlling Mother

I can understand what you are going through, I'm in a relationship like that and it is driving me crazy, so much that I think I will leave my man.

If a guy can't make his own decisions, then he's not fixed to be a man (cuz man are the head of a household) and he is not fixed to be with you.
My advice to YOU...is follow and listen to your heart!

Oct 10, 2009
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Mommy's Boy
by: Anonymous

If he's still a mommy's boy, then he won't grow up. Don't stay with a guy who will push you away like that. Let him go. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Oct 08, 2009
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Boyfriend with Controlling Mother
by: Anonymous

First and for most, I hope that you are doing well.
One thing you should know is that you are not the only one facing these problems. There are men out there still under "mummy's care" which is not good for a man or for the relationship.

My advise to you is talk to him and make him understand how you feel about it. If it is something he is willing to take into consideration, then well and good, but if he doesn't, and you still want to be with him, then you have to accommodate it.

Above all, pray to God and ask for his SOS HELP before you say something bad about his mom to his face or you might end up losing him for good.

I wish you all the best.


Oct 06, 2009
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Shoes Made For Walking
by: Penny

Joyce,

Years ago, I went with a man who told me as I was cooking for him, that his mother didn't do what I was doing the way I did it and I turned to face him and said, "Do I look like your mother?"

I can't have a man who tells ME what his mother does or says because I'm my own person and do things the way I do them.

It's his, your boyfriend's, fault not his mother'' that his life is being ruined. He does not have to take mother's advice. He needs to learn how to think for himself and not be told how, what, where, who and why by mommie dearest.

I'm with you, it's time to put your shoes on and walk because he will always listen to his mommie like he's a little boy and you want a man who can think for himself and have some backbone!

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