Monster Was His Name

by Mary
(Connecticut)

It's pretty funny to her sometimes.
For months, he was her life, and she thought she was his.
But then, one day, he decided to throw her away.
And she sat there for weeks, waiting.
Waiting for her prince charming to come out again.
To save her from the monster.
The monster she was so deeply in love with.

She dreams about that monster.
He puts her to sleep, with his wasteful lies.
Those lies, oh how she cherished them dearly…

This girl cannot talk to the Monster.
The Monster cheats, breaks her heart, tells her lies
tells her he loves her when, truthfully, he doesn't.
The sad thing is, the girl believes every word
that comes out of those lips.
She's so eager to forgive the Monster.
Naïve little child…

The monster kissed her once.
Not once, many times.
She became a part of his lips.
Those soft lips that caressed hers.
She can still feel them now.
The taste, the sense of his body next to hers.
She misses those lips.
She wants them again.
She needs them again.

The Monster left her once.
She waited for weeks
Waited for his phone call
Waited for his message
Waited for his look
But she watched the days go by
With no word from the Monster.

Did you know the Monster wasn’t always the Monster he is now?
He was once just an ordinary boy.
She never looked at him.
She didn’t even know he existed.
And, being the boy he was, he knew nothing of her either.
She was enveloped in her life, a life she created.
Her life seems so foreign, now that she thinks about it.
A life full of nothing.
She didn’t have anything to live for.
But then she met the Monster…

The Monster was a boy.
He had blonde hair,
Blonde hair that she loved to touch.
His eyes were a beautiful green.
Clear green, hidden behind that hair.
She fell in love with those eyes.
He was tall.
So very tall.
She remembers how she used to stand on the tip of her toes to kiss him.
How he bent down a little to find her mouth.
She remembers wrapping her arms around his neck.
She remembers his hair on her face.

His voice was beautiful.
Dark, rich, deep.
It gave her goose bumps.
He believed in nothing.
He had no God.
He didn’t think life was worth living either.
But then he met Her.

She was a plain girl.
She’s told she’s not, but she still believes so.
Her hair is rich brown
Brown that shines in the light.

Her eyes are hazel.
They turn green when the light hits them.
They’re green when she cries too…

Her skin is soft.
She’s small.
She’s lovable.
She’s adorable.
She’s mysterious.
She’s annoying.
She’s scary.
She’s easily forgotten.

Months passed.
They were the perfect couple.
They kissed in the halls,
They were the center of jealousy,
They were in love.

Months passed…

Everything was fine.
She swears everything was fine.
She prayed to God (because she still had faith)
She prayed.
She wished.
She hoped.
But nothing happened.

Two weeks was all it took.
She was breaking down.
Where was the Boy?
Where was the Boy she fell in love with?
He passed her in the halls.
He didn’t even look her way…

She needed someone.
Anyone.
She needed to fill that hole.
Quickly,
before everything inside was drained out.
Quickly,
before it closed up.
Before it closed up with nothing inside.

She found Him then.
Her Prince Charming.

Her Prince Charming had dark hair.
Brown or black: she could never decide.
Her Prince Charming had green eyes too.
Maybe that’s why she wanted his love…
Oh, how deceitful her heart was.

Two weeks.
She was still with him.
Him: the Monster.
The Boy became a Monster.
And the boy she had been best friends with for so long
Became Prince Charming.

She was still breaking.
Her heart was still empty.
No matter how much Prince Charming tried,
Her heart wouldn’t let him in.
Only the Monster could fit.

She gave up hope.
She was done crying.
She left the Monster.
She didn’t think he cared.
So she pretended she didn’t either.

Prince Charming is persistent.
She made him fall in love with her every day.
And he did.
He listened to her cry over the phone,
Read her childish stories,
Read her sonnets,
Sang her lullabies.

She’s still alive because of Prince Charming.

But the Monster came back.
Her paradise had been broken.
Monster said he loved her.
Her heart woke up a little.
She ran to the Monster and left Prince Charming behind.

Prince Charming was breaking.
He didn’t know what to do.
He loved her.
He loved her smile
He loved her touch
He loved her laughter
And they way they discussed.

He wanted her.
The Monster took her away.
He looked at him now,
With hateful eyes.
Oh, how he hated the Monster.
For taking his love away into darkness.
Promising her lies.
Oh how he hated the Monster..

But he loved her.
He wanted her to be happy.
And he didn’t make her happy.
So it was time to let go.

It’s funny. Really, it is.
She can still hear the Monster’s last words
“I love you. Goodnight.”
Simple words.
Thoughtful words.
They had given her so much hope.
So much hope.

But those were his last words.
He did not speak to her again.
He was too "busy."
Too preoccupied with a life she had nothing to do with.
What now?
Not this again.
Prince Charming was waiting…

She’s still with him.
He’s still breaking her.
And she’s dying.
But he doesn’t care.
And she’s trying not to care either.

Prince Charming loves her.
He has someone else also.
Their beautiful love affair is no secret…

And that’s the end.
No happy endings.
Just bullshit after bullshit.
She blames herself,
Because it was her decision to stay.

Her heart is deceitful.
Plays cruel tricks on her.
She wants to be punished.
But she wants him.
And she has him.
So that should be punishment enough…


How to find out for sure if someone is right for you