My story

by Appu
(India)

When I reached my teenage years I was kind of good looking, so many guys seemed to be interested in me. I was young and didn't know what to do about it all. An older girlfriend of mine fell for a guy, so naturally she made me like this guy who was his crush's friend. We were of different religions but that didn't seem to matter to me. He seemed to like me & all, also he was much older than me. But later I came to know he's been in love with his cousin for a long time & that he was just trying me for fun. I was heartbroken & cried a lot.

Later, a boy through our common friend told me that he loved me, and I accepted it without much thought. He never came to see me or tried to call me or anything. I was just branded "that guy's girl", though nothing really happened between us. He later broke up with me because he saw me flirting with a guy. And this guy whom I flirted with disappeared later. I only saw him after 2 years or so.

After some crushes which didn't even last a week, I fell for a guy. I don't know whether it was a crush or something but it lasted an entire year. I really liked him & he felt the same for me too. Though I didn't really tell him that I liked him, neither did he..but inside we knew. I called him making up excuses, waited for him to pass by for hours...

Now when I look back I realize that I was so lovesick. Then he had to go for training for he got a job as a police. I kind of missed him but never admitted that I did. When he returned on leave I had to go for a trip so we missed each other.

Time passed, I didn't see him but he saw me and thought I was avoiding him. Heartbroken(or so I think) he left for his training again. When I came back what I heard was that he got engaged already & he asked that girl himself. I was not really broken because I knew something like this might happen when I realized what he must have felt when he thought i avoided him. And now I'm still single due to my earlier experiences.

I don't know if I ever get my prince, I admit that in most cases I was wrong, but I acted like that because all those people never cared for me. Now when someone asks me out I'm too scared that one more heartbreak cannot be taken by my heart...after watching how many marriages do not work out around me, now I have decided not to marry. I will stand by this decision unless my prince in shining armor comes & rescues me..which I'm so sure will never happen.