Older Man Younger Woman Relationship - Is It Advisable by Laura Love

Today's question comes from one our subscribers, Jessica. Read the text or watch the video below. Also see the bottom of the page for Laura Love's special recommendations.

Dear Laura Love,

I'm in an older man younger woman relationship and want to know if it's okay to date someone who is nine years older.

Signed,
Jessica

Dear Jessica,

Whether you should date an older man depends on your age. If you're twelve for instance, I wouldn't recommend an older man younger woman relationship.

Assuming that you are an adult, then my response to you is that you can't legislate your heart. In other words, it doesn't matter how old the other person is, what matters is that you share similar interests, you complement each other's strengths and bring out the best in each other.

However, I say this with a caveat—if dating an older guy has anything to do with trying to resolve an unsatisfactory relationship with your dad or if what you're looking for is a father figure, STOP because it will only lead to weird and unhappy re-enactments of what you didn't get in childhood. So if this is what it's about for you, go see a therapist instead.

If your older man younger woman relationship has anything to do with resolving an unsatisfactory relationship with your father, you're much better off seeing a therapist.

Otherwise, I say, go for it. My husband is thirteen years older than me and we've been happily married for almost twenty years. If our age difference had put me off, then I would have missed out on the great love of my life.