Once Upon a Broken Heart
by Amy
(Australia)
I once had a guy who saved me ... he changed my whole perspective on life and the people in it. He taught me to trust and not be judgmental. I loved him totally until I found out he had another girlfriend.
I turned to self-harm and alcohol and drug abuse to silence the voice inside of me that reminded me how much I wanted to be the girl that he held hands with and grinned at for no reason. I wanted to be the last thing he thought about before he went to sleep and the first thing he thought about when he woke up.
My drug and alcohol abuse caused me to lose the trust of many of my friends and most of my family. After three suicide attempts which all left me feeling humiliated and destroyed, I decided to try to get over this guy by jumping from guy to guy, breaking their hearts and leaving them without answers, until I found something in a one night stand that intrigued me and made me want to know more.
I met him at my mate's house. He approached me with the line, "Amy, do you want to get laid tonight? Little did I know that he'd said the same thing to my sister months before. She fell for it and he broke her heart. He used the same approach on my best mate who was also at the party.
He and I went to dinner, got smashed and sat up the whole night and talked about everything imaginable. The next morning, I crept out of bed and walked the 2 km back to where the party was and curled up next to one of my passed-out mates and tried to forget about the guy I'd been with.
During the next 2 months, I hardly thought of him until I was invited to his brother's place for drinks. Sure enough, he was there. We talked and he asked me out and for about 2 weeks I was so happy, until my sister found out we were together. Angry and crushed that I would do this to her, she called the cops and told them a twenty-year old was having under-age sex with a fifteen-year old.
He told me never to contact him again. For the second time in my life, I was humiliated and lost in a world of my depression and sadness.
Later, I became friends with him again and slowly he began to like me. At that point, I liked him and one of my other mates too, but I decided to choose him. Now, the guy I chose him over is trying to get the girl he cheated on me with pregnant and she is planning to leave him for a lesbian.
I am pregnant and living with my one night stand.