Opinions needed. I love him but..
Okay so I am 18 yrs old, and I met this special guy when I was 15. He lived close to my neighbourhood my whole life growing up but we never knew each other personally. We would hear about each other from friends and maybe run into each other sometimes, but never did we talk until high school.
We shared a class together & we started to share even more of the same friends. Actually, he was great friends with my closest friends at the time. We became good friends. It was different with him, even though we were friends, I would get butterflies when around him. We would have awkward eye contact and flirt all the time. Even the other guys started to notice.
After, time it was obvious. And even later on, he became something very special to me. He always was with his smile and charm. We were young though, and he was a bit of a bad boy.
We never started a relationship. But we were different with each other, and we understood that, it just wasn't the right time. I have so many memories with this guy, I could go on and on. Through thick and thin. We had a strong bond and it grew more over time.
A year ago, we admitted our feelings to each other more than we ever had before. And that day, we made it official. No one was surprised. It felt so right. I wondered if it was like this for every relationship or is he just something special.
We got to know each others' families even more and everything was good. But like i said we have a lot of memories together, so sometimes we would argue. Remember me saying he was kind of a bad boy? We had our times of arguments, and I know now it was just stupid... Misunderstandings and misjudgments, we started to misread each other. He felt like he needed to try so hard just to keep me happy, when that is not true.
He just doesn't realize how his actions affect others. He needs to learn how to appreciate more sometimes. I know he does, but he still lives his life only for himself, not really caring that some people stopped living their lives for him when he was in need. But whose fault is that?
I love him, and so do so many others. But we broke up because we decided these arguments were affecting us too much. We weren't happy anymore. And it's sad to accept and in a way I still don't.
We havent spoken since. It's been 3 weeks and I know these things take time, but I'm just hurt. Why hasn't he tried to get hold of me yet? I know we were both upset that day.
I guess I'm just used to talking to him at these times. I try to put myself in his shoes. I'm just trying to move on slowly and give it the time it needs. I'm just worried about what happens when we do run into each other or when we do speak.
Will we feel that same love we did before? Will we have the same look in our eyes? Will the feelings still be there? We hurt each other quite a bit by subconsciously being selfish but I don't know how these feelings for him will ever fully disappear. We still have the same friends. And I know he's been thinking about me and everything, but he doesn't show it to me and I don't show it to him. I'm only 18, but it's hard. We loved each other.
I know that something must be stopping him from calling me
and I know something must be stopping me from calling him.
Ughh I miss him. How much time until we can be friends? :(
I wonder if can we be friends? This sucks.