Please help me, I'm desperate

by Myca H.
(San Diego,CA,United States)

I've like this guy since second grade and I still really like him. Actually I think I'm in love. We used to hang out a lot but not anymore.

I confronted him this year telling him I really liked him, and he said he didn't like me in that way. It hurt really bad and it still does.

These last couple of days he stares at me sometimes in the hallway and he looks sad. I don't know why though.

I wanted to ask you guys what you think about that. These days, I wear more "attractive" clothes to get him to notice me and I THINK it might be working or maybe not. I really like him a lot but he's been going out with other girls. I want to fight for him but I'm afraid he might back off. We don't talk to each other anymore and I don't want it to get worse.

Could you guys PLEASE tell me some way I could make him like me, get his attention in a good way, and find out why he looks upset sometimes when he looks at me, cause other times with his friends and other girls he's fine.

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May 02, 2009
move on
by: Anonymous

Don't waste your time. I know that it hurts because of all the time you put into your friendship. Do not spend your time liking some one who does not like you because you are letting Mr. Right who is interested in you go unnoticed and he is out there for you.

The more time you spend pining over this guy, the less you are spending finding the right one (or letting the right one approach you).

You want the guy who is crazy and infatuated with you not the other way around. Move on. You can do it. Show him no interest whatsoever.

May 02, 2009
hoping this helps you
by: Anonymous

I am sure that if he is looking towards you in a different way it is because you assume that you have to change who you are in order to get his attention but you fail to realize that he only loves you as a friend & did not think of you the way you saw him.

My best advise to you is to continue as you were and don't change a thing about you because you had his attention then just being you & he liked you even if it was just as a friend.

Now as he looks at you that strange look coming from him now may be because you are trying so hard to get him to love you back, but fail to see that it is only hurting him to have lost you as his friend.

Tell him you are sorry if you hurt him & that you would like to continue being friends & hope he accepts because eventually that friendship will grow into something more but let him be the one to come to you when he falls in love (if ever with you).

He obviously liked something about you in order to have made you such a good friend to begin with.

Don't lose hope. But stay as you were when he first met you & when y'all were friends. Don't change anything. You will only make him feel worse about turning you down & he will only feel like there is no hope of continuing your friendship cause he is only hurting you that way.

You have to let him know you can get over it so to say & wait for the right moment when he loves you back & tells you so. Just keep being there for him & one day you may be his shoulder to cry on.

May 02, 2009
Get A Grip
by: Spiritually-Minded

Whoa! He told you the truth and you still have a problem with that. I think you aren't ready to date him or anyone else. Dating carries a burden called responsibility. You need to mature more before you consider dating because you don't love yourself enough. Changing the way you dress just to get him to notice you may make him and others see you as the kind of girl who will do anything for attention. Do you want that kind of reputation?

He likes you as a friend, accept it because that's all you're gonna get, but if you push the issue, he will hurt your feelings. He is trying to be polite by being honest and he stays away because he knows you don't want to accept the answer he gave you. We can't make others want us or like us. We must love ourselves no matter what and not be willing to lower our standards to everyone else's.

May 02, 2009
Hold Your Head Up and Move On
by: Penny

When he told you he didn't like you that way, HE MEANT IT. It took strength, respect for you and courage for him to say that and I know as you said, it hurt, but he told you the truth about how he feels about you. Now when you start dressing differently he knows why you're doing it, he's sad for you because it won't change the way he feels.

After being told, the only thing you can do is respect his feelings and thoughts, hold your head up and walk away like a lady would. I empathize with you, but you asked for help and sometimes truth hurts. what you need to so you can move on.

May 02, 2009
Don't Push
by: Jin C.

Don't push your relationship too hard, if it was meant to be then it will happen.

Also im a dude like 15 years old, sorry to say this but, I think he has a crush on somebody else and maybe it's not working out well. (It's only my opinion).

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