Pride vs. Love
by Yachi Sato
Me and my boyfriend Kumi were about to reach our one year and 3 month anniversary when our relationship became unbalanced. There were times when we would quarrel about nonsense things and because of that, Pride always won against Love. After that we would ignore each other for a few days until one of us would say 'Sorry'. I know Sorry means asking for forgiveness but this word doesn't mean he/she will not do those things again. That's why I don't ask Kumi to forgive me if I did something wrong or something hurtful to him; instead I summon my Pride! It was better to let my Pride take over than to say the Sorry (I could never say that word to him because I couldn't promise that I won't hurt him again). These fights we had become worse until one of us surrendered...and that's me. I gave up on him because I thought I didn’t love him any more, maybe because I got tired of all the fights and because I did find someone that I thought I really loved. So I decided to leave him. But after we broke up(after a few weeks) I saw him with another girl, and it really hurt like hell. That's the time I realized that I really loved him and I that I realized his importance only after I lost him. I don't want these feelings of regret but that's what I felt when I saw him in the arms of another girl. I ran and cried, I didn't know what to do at the time. The other day Kumi texted me, asking how I am doing. Instead of answering his question I told him not to text me anymore and instead of texting me, why not text his new girlfriend. He almost say a bad word out of anger and he said that I had no right to be angry with him because I was the one who broke our relationship. By that time I was feeling sick, again my Pride and bitterness overcame me. I really didn't know what to say. Then he texted me again and told me that he doesn't want me anymore because he doesn't want to feel the hurt again. It broke my heart when he said that. So I replied and told him to cut our communication and move on. After that I waited for his reply...but nothing came. He didn't reply to me anymore. Until now I'm regretting all That happened to us. So I tell myself that anger, bitterness, Pride and all bad emotions won't bring happiness to anyone. If they hurt you, don't think of taking revenge because it won't make you happy. |
