Whenever things go wrong between us, he starts his psychological torture.
When I first went out with this guy, I realized that he was the love of my life. He loved me for what I was, but then I became too possessive about him, and never gave him the space he wanted. He never complained until this came up during a fight, when it was not my mistake at all.
He started saying things like I was not the right girl for him, I won't keep him happy, all that stuff. He had also started to talk to another girl on the phone and was saying things like she was better than me, etc and I couldn't stand it.
I went to his house and begged to take me back. and then he took me in his arms and hugged me tight and said he would'nt talk to that girl again. He said that he started it only because he couldn't find the girl in me who he fell in love with.
Since that time, whenever things went wrong between us, he starts up his psychological torture, giving me bad words and saying that he'll talk to that girl. He emotionally tortures me and asks me to leave him then I go crawling to him to ask for forgiveness even if it's not my mistake. Then things turn out all right but the vicious cycle continues.
We have had lots of breakups and makeups, but I've lost the person in him, who used to care for me and love me madly.
Recently after going on the Internet, I realized that I am making a mistake by begging in front of him, that whenever he asks for a breakup, I should accept and avoid keeping any contact with him, and then he'll come crawling back to me. That when he's alone, he'll miss me, because I left behind a lot of sweet memories that we shared together and the many little things I've done for him. I am sure that he has not yet realized this as I have never given him a chance to think.
This last time, this is what I did. I want him to realize that he still loves me and am the love of his life. I want him back at any cost, but am afraid me not talking to him will take him away from me more.
Yesterday, we had a little issue and he started again, then I said to myself enough is enough and give him space. I accepted it, but I guess he took it lightly, because many time he has said such things but I always ended up begging with him to take me back.
This time I was firm. It didn't mean I left him forever, but was just giving him time to realize how much I mean to him. since then I haven't called him, but he himself called me during night. He wasn't rude, he asked me about my studies, but then I disconnected the phone first after talking for a minute, saying am feeling sleepy.
I was really happy that he called. Next day, again I didn't call him, but I met him on the way when I was out going somewhere, but I didn't smile at him and showed a little bit of attitude.
In the evening he called me, but I was not able to answer his call. Later I called him to ask why he had called and he acted as if he was in a hurry and a bit rude. His brother asked him to tell me something, but disconnected the phone before saying anything.
What does that mean? Should I continue with the NO CONTACT? What should I do to make him realize come back to me?
Please don't ask me to leave him. I can't even think of that.