Relationship Help - Time to Commit or Move On

In the video below, Laura Love answers the question, "Is it Love?" What do you do if the person you're dating is also dating others. Should you confront them, wait or move on? Watch the video or if you prefer, read the text below for Laura's answer.

Now that you've watched Laura Love's relationship help video, read what Steve had to say after watching it:

Hi Laura,

Just to say a huge thanks for the time and effort that you have put into my question, I was absolutely thrilled to get the message and watching the video was fantastic!

Since I sent you the question I have in fact been open about my feelings to her and she was quite suprised and didnt give a direct response but was obvious that the feeling was not mutual.

However It hasn't ruined our friendship. I joke with her now about things like (once she has been through all her phases with other blokes that she'll come running to me) etc and I have been dating other girls, with her being the 'adviser' on which girls are 'suitable' etc so it's turned out to be ok and alot of fun. Luckily I dont feel jealous which is what I thought I would feel but being open has helped that I think.

I really value your advice and will bare everthing you kindly said in your video in mind for future.

Thanks again!

Wishing you all the best,

Steve
London

If you have a relationship help question for Laura Love, click on: relationship help

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Me and 'Becky' have known each other as friends for a few months, we go out with each other about once every week, or sometimes every 2 weeks as we're both quite busy, I recently took her on a surprise coach trip out of London which was great fun.

We get along great, chat lots and have lots of laughing fun, but she has other male friends that she also gets on great with as she's a happy, lovely girl who is in my view like a magnet for any man out there. Ultimately I'd like her to know that I love her but I'd hate to ruin the great times we spend together should this feeling not be mutual.

It's hard to read the signs as to whether she's a great loving friend (but just a friend), or possibly loves me in the same way I feel for her, as she's always happy, smiling and, well just a gorgeous person who is more innocent and appreciative than many city girls in London.

She recently took pictures of us two together and showed me her best friends and family picture that were also on her phone, telling me she will show her mum the pictures of us.

On our last date she was telling me how she is growing up and changing as a person, which I thought was quite a personal thing to share with me, but I wonder if she's this open with her other male friends too etc?....

It's honest for me to say that I've never had such strong feelings for a girl before, and should she love me back, I'd happilly put her at the centre of my life, whatever may arise in life, but I'm at a crossroads as to which route to take: The best friend for life route, or the lover and possibly family route...

Best wishes

Steve

Relationship Help Response from Laura Love

First I'd like to commend you, Steve, because you've considered this situation carefully and even though you're falling in love, you're keeping your feet on the ground. Although you like Becky's fun-loving nature, you're right to be concerned.

On one hand you and Becky have a great time together, but on the other hand, she's also having fun with other guys. Becky may be into having fun, playing the field to figure out what she wants from a relationship or she may be frightened of commitment. Either way, your feelings are at stake, so you need to know where you stand.

You can't ignore the fact that she's dating other guys, so I suggest you ask her. Wait until the time is right, tell her you're beginning to care for her and listen carefully to her response. Also, pay close attention to her body language, which will cues her words do not.

If she's starting to fall for you, then she will want to stop going round with other guys.

If she's not willing to make a commitment, then you have a decision to make. You can continue having fun with her, but then you'll have to ignore your feelings which isn't honest or healthy.

Or you can take this as a lesson learned. After all, Becky has shown you some of the qualities that you're looking for in a woman. Remember, Steve, love isn't about hoping, it's about engaging with a woman who cares as much for you as you care for her.

So that's our show.

Steve's Response to Laura's Answer:

Hi Laura,

Just to say a huge thanks for the time and effort that you have put into my question, I was absolutely thrilled to get the message and watching the video was fantastic!

Since I sent you the question I have in fact been open about my feelings to her and she was quite suprised and didnt give a direct respose but was obvious that the feeling was not mutual.

However It hasn't ruined our friendship. I joke with her now about things like (once she has been through all her phases with other blokes that she'll come running to me) etc and I have been dating other girls, with her being the 'adviser' on which girls are 'suitable' etc so it's turned out to be ok and alot of fun. Luckily I dont feel jealous which is what I thought I would feel but being open has helped that I think.

I really value your advice and will bare everthing you kindly said in your video in mind for future.

Happy new year to you and your family and thanks again!

Wishing you all the best,

Steve
London

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