Relationship Issues - What to Do about Jealousy and DisrepectRelationship Issues Q & A on Jealousy and DisrespectI have been dating my boyfriend, Matt, for about a month and I'm a very jelous girl. I like him alot and have known him for three years. Everything I get mad about, he never gets mad about. He doesn't seem to care when one of his friends touches my butt or says something about me. He just laughs and stuff. How do I know he cares at all about our relationship? (He tells me he wil call me after he gets out of the shower every night, but always falls asleep and never even texts to tell me so.) Signed, Dear Kiersten, You've brought up some excellent relationship issues: jealousy and disrespect. These are issues that everyone must deal with. First, let's talk about you. Your willingness to admit that you're a jealous person is commendable. However, understand that jealousy does not necessarily equal love. It can be what comes out of loving someone deeply—after all, feelings of jealousy are normal—but it can also reveal a possessiveness that is dangerous and unhealthy. For instance, if a person thinks that you are his the way his car is his, then this is not love, but ownership. Remember that we come into relationship first as individuals and human beings. We are not things that people can stake a claim on. 
Relationship Issues: Jealousy does not necessarily indicate that someone loves you.Next, realize that some people are just not jealous. This may indicate confidence in self or in the relationship or as you're surmised, it may indicate that they don't care. For instance, my husband is not a jealous person. He's confident in himself and feels secure and grounded in the strong relationship that we have built. He knows my body and my heart and realizes that this is the supreme advantage he has over any man who attempts to approach me. He likes it when I dress sexy and doesn't mind when other men look at me, but he would draw the line if someone touched me or made inappropriate comments, not because he's jealous, but because he knows that I deserve to be treated with respect. This is one of the biggest relationship issues I see in what you've told me about your interactions with your boyfriend: he doesn't respect you. A good relationship is built on respect and if you don't have that, you have nothing. If your boyfriend respected you, he would take a stand against his friends' groping hands and inappropriate comments. Another tell is his unwillingness to follow through on his promises to call you when he says he will. If this is due to occasional forgetfulness, that's one thing. If it's a pattern of behavior, then he is showing you what he thinks of you. If you have any desire to deal with these relationship issues, I suggest you show your boyfriend what I've written. Ask him to consider how he treats you. Tell him that you need to be treated with respect. Remember that we all need to learn how to love, so if he shows interest in learning how to treat you better, you may consider giving him a chance. If he is unwilling or unable, then it's time to find someone who will treat you right. Also, I recommend you read this book —
No More Jealousy
. It will help you overcome your jealous tendencies (one of the biggest relationship issues for some of us) which will help you create stronger, more fulfilling relationships now and in the future. For help deciding whether to stay in this relationship, read
Should I Stay or Should I Go
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