Relationship Lie - When Your Partner Lies about Paternity

I am dating a man with children. He has one child of his own and is also parenting twins from a past relationship. The twins believe that he is their father, as does his family, when, in essence, they are not. I am feeling really uncomfortable with the situation and in some ways, I am drawn away when the kids are around. Is it okay to feel this way?

Signed,
Samantha

Relationship Lie Answer:

Dear Samantha,

Trust your feelings. It is normal to feel uncomfortable when asked to participate in a lie, however, make sure that your actions do not hurt the children in any way. After all, they are victims of this lie, not accomplices. Like everyone else, they probably truly believe that this man is their father.

If I were you, I would ask your man why he pretends to be their father. Maybe he has a reason that he believes outweighs the damage of living an untruth: he could be protecting the twins or fulfilling some promise made before their birth.

Relationship Lie - Being coerced into supporting a partner's lie might make you feel uncomfortable. If so, trust your feelings because they are healthy

Ask why he hasn't told the truth to his own family. Until you know the reason

So wait until the time is right—when you're alone and there are no distractions and begin by telling him, "I feel uncomfortable with this situation ... "

The way he responds to your honest expression of discomfort will tell you a lot about him. It will also reveal how much he values you as a partner and what he does when confronted with the truth.

After reading my advice, Samantha wrote me back and here is what she had to say:

I really appreicate you responding to my question and I just wanted youto know that I am going to take your advice and speak with my man tonight.I will email you at a later date and let you know how everything turns out.To add icing to the cake, I just found out last night that I am pregnantwith his child. Aren't I in a tangled web?

We will keep you posted on Samantha's progress.

One relationship lie you have been told is that your love cannot last a lifetime. Learn the secrets of couples who have found their bliss in their relationship together.

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