should i smile because your my friend or cry because thats all we'll ever be?
boring old me.
So Im 12, and yes im young, but i have a big crush on this boy in my school. See i'm friends with the older people in my school and one of my best friends is 17 her name is pam. she's got a little brother thats 14 turing 15 march 27th. He's only in 8th grade though. he's supposed to be in 9th but that doesnt really matter. Plain and Simple i like him. A lot.
His one sister knows but his other sisters dont. Well anyways i have liked him for 10 months now. and i cant help it. he's got these amazing bright blue eyes that light up whenever he smiles and this smile and a body to die for and a personality im in love with. He's got a dirty blondish/brown hair that is the perfect length for me.
I have a study hall with him and it's supposed to be a silent study hall but me and him always talk to each other. he's really nosy when it comes to my stuff. he's always asking who im talking to or doing or whatever like that. when we're together we flirt the whole time. we dont even try to though, it's just natural for us. we can be ourselves around each other.
I'm really close with his family. His sister renee is my moms best friend we helped her move into her new apartment this year. His other sister Ro i'm not as close with her but thats because she lives an hour away, then his mom and his dad love me.
I've been to his house a million times. I went over with pam after school the one day before a soccer game and me him and serena sat on the couch watching tv me next to him.
he started playing wii and we started flirting. we always flirt, thats just how we act with each other. we fight with each other but end up laughing two seconds after that. i cant stay mad at him after all. so i reached over him to get the remote and he grabbed my hand.
we started fighting. he got off the couch and basically climbed on top of me. i finally let go of the remote from laughing so hard and he rolled over me to lay behind me. so im like christopher what are you doing and he's like chilling (: im like whatever. so later that night October 17th to be exact i went to his house after the soccer game.
he didnt go to the game but when we got back he was watching scary movies and i HATE scary movies like absolute hate scary movies. he was laying on the couch and i told him to move his feet so he did and Pam sat in the one chair serena sat in the other and me and him on the couch. he had a blanket on his legs and i was getting cold so i stole some of it and we just started laughing.
I didnt leave his house that night until almost Midnight. he comes over to my house in the summer to swim. all the time.
A few weeks ago me and serena went to splash lagoon with him, his best friend and his sisters and his sisters boyfriend. it was so much fun. when we got there me&serena went down the one slide and he was waiting for me and we were talking until serena came back up. we hung out for like 30 mins and it was heaven.
then we were eating lunch and me and serena couldnt get anymore juice out of our cup and while serena was trying, i stole his drink. i had a few sips and he just smiled at me. then we got off a ride and we were talking to him and he goes where do we put the rafts and i showed him and hes like yea nevermind i'm selling it starting off with 20$ and im like im getting half of it right? and he goes yep and serena goes do i get any and hes like nope so i go yep he likes me better haha.
on the ride home he was being nosy, asking who i was texting, looking over my shoulder, he ended up stealing my phone and i jumped over the seat to get him. that day was amazing(:
Well anyways he is basically the most popular 8th grader in his grade. every girl likes him. i mean who wouldnt. my one "friend" doesnt understand why i like him. it's only because he doesnt know who he is outside of school because he is so much more different outside of school. My friend thinks he's a player that leads girls on then breaks their hearts. I dont believe him. at all.
the one thing thats hard with liking him is
number one: his sister renee doesnt like me with boys. she doesnt like me liking them or anything
number two: he flirts with a lot of girls. a lot of girls like him. i'm one of the only 7th grade girls he talks to besides serena. all the 8th grade girls flirt with hm and it kills me.
Honestly i dont think i have a chance. i'm just a boring girl and as much as i want a chance with him i know the chances are slim. he's older than me and so much more popular and i dont think i'm getting any chances with him even though i'm the only girl that really knows him outside and inside of school and it kills me knowing that i'm never going to get a chance with him. i'm not confident in myself at all. which makes it even worse.
I will always like him and i might even love him. but he doesnt even know. he's totally oblivious.
should i smile because your my friend,
or cry because that's all i'll ever be?