Teacher Student Relationship - In Love with Teacher?

The Teacher Student Relationship - Romance in the College Classroom?

If you think you might be in love with your teacher, you'll want to read this article or watch the video below. In it, Laura Love gives advice to Erica who thinks she may be in love with teacher.

Below the video is a transcript of the show along with Laura Love's relationship advice.

The topic of our show is the Teacher Student Relationship - Are in your in love with your college professor?

Today's question comes from Erica.

I am a 19 year old student who is almost 20. I have intense feelings for an older man who I think is almost 50. I've known this man, who is one of my college teachers, for almost one year.

He has helped me with many things, both in the classroom and in my personal life.

Teacher Student Relationship Advice Video

While I realize we have a 30 year difference in our ages, we have many things in common, including some similar life experiences. I have been through a lot in my life, more than many young adults my age.

It is hard for me to keep my feelings for him a secret until it is the right time to reveal how I really feel.

I feel quite certain that we have a closer relationship than he has with any of his other students.

I would like to get together with my professor outside of the classroom and hang out with him, but how do I go about asking him in a way that is appropriate and not too direct?

teacher student relationship

There are a few things that you should know about my teacher: he's single (never been married) and takes care of his mother who happens to live with him.

I really want this to work and wish people would be less judgmental about older man younger woman relationships.


College Teacher Student Relationship Advice

I understand your feelings, Erica. Mature men who are well-established, intelligent, compassionate and successful are very attractive.

I realize that you are mature for your age, so I am going to ask you to consider a few things about this teacher student relationship:

  • First, while it is entirely possible that he is attracted to you, you need to proceed carefully. Although you believe that you have a closer relationship than he shares with other students, he may be helpful simply because that is part of his job.

    In other words, you need to do your best to make sure that you are not misinterpreting his friendliness.

  • Second, some colleges and universities prohibit professor/student relationships because this is a dynamic where the professor is in a position of authority over the students. Although he may be interested in you, is there a possibility that a relationship with you could jeopardize his job?

    Think about the answers to these two questions carefully, then if you still think it's appropriate to go forward, invite him for a coffee after class. Make sure to meet him somewhere outside the college setting.

  • If college is already over, send him an email. (It is better to wait until school is out.) If he is willing to meet with you even though school is out, this could be a positive sign.

  • Pay careful attention to his signals. Try to step outside yourself and your desire for a relationship to see if he is responding to you more as a woman or as a student.

  • If you think he is, take the next step and invite him to a movie or some event of mutual interest and see how it goes.

  • Take one step at a time, but realize that he might feel conflicted due to his position as your professor or due to the fact that he spends a good deal of his free time taking care of his elderly mother.

12 Secrets about Men - How to create a lasting relationship.

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