That Bubber Ball (not a real poem but describing my heart)

by Sofia
(Glen rock, New Jersey, America)

There is that little rubber ball. I see his face and it vibrates on my heart. When I go home it moves more. It's ten, he should text. I wait. I wait. I wait. No text. I remember it's over. The rubber ball rubs against the left side of my heart. I can't breathe I'm scared. Scared of losing myself. Scared of doing something...something deep. I try seeing the light, and it all works out while it is bright, but then it grows dark too soon. Just a little too soon. And I die inside. I'm 12. I'm 12 and my friends say I am in love, but I don't believe it is love. My friends say it is. I just look at them and say no. It's complicated. Very complicated. He has only left my mind for about 5 minutes today and that was while I was putting in my contacts. I've done everything with him in my head. He broke up with me because we only texted. Because he wouldn't come talk to me. And I froze up when I tried talking to him. He was in love with me last year. He said he was crazy about me. And now hes moved on and is dating another girl. A real b*tchy girl. But he's happy. But I'm still not over him. It's been two months. And I have not gone a day without soaking my shirt with tears. It doesn't make any sense why I can't let go of him. I need help. But I don't know from who or how...I'm guessing the only way is from him. Until then, that rubber ball will be with me. I guess if you have any suggestions you could comment. Whatever you want.