To break up or not to break up?

by Ashley
(Charlotte, NC )

Hi, I am 21 years old and I have been with my current boyfriend for over a year now. He is a wonderful guy and I know that he loves me. The only problem is that we have had a LOT of aruguments (a LOT) because he seems to become very jealous and possessive of me when it comes to social situations including my family or friends. He was very rude when he first met one of my brothers because he did not talk the entire dinner and he gets very jealous when I want to hang out with my friends and not him. I feel sometimes that he wants to put me in a cage and keep me there. It is so hard because in every other area he is wonderful, but he becomes a jealous jerk whenever I want to be with my friends. It makes me feel very confused and miserable. Also, I am studying abroad this school year and we have had a long distance relationship for 9 months. I sometimes think I should give him the opportunity in person to see if he has changed (because he said he will and has shown signs of it) but I deep down do not believe that he is going to change because I am full of resentment from the past. I feel very dependent on him since I am not close with my parents and I feel like I will be alone if we break up since he talks to me everyday here in Mexico. I don't know what to do....

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Apr 27, 2008
Let him go
by: Anonymous

No one should be restricted from their friends or family. To me this says that he does not value you as a person, but sees you as a trophy that he wants to keep to himself. If you had a daughter who's boyfriend treats her the way your boyfriend treats you, you can't say that warning signs wouldn't be flashing.

You don't have to be in a relationship. I'm sure you have the ability to make friends on your own, it's just uncomfortable to step out and introduce yourself to people. I have faith you can do it! If you remain with him, I see you either becoming a shell of your former self and being depressed or worse. Please do the right thing.

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