to fool someone or to fool yourself? which is better?

by smiley miel
(kuwait)

I had a boyfriend for almost one year..within that period of time we never fought about jealousy..we only argued about the communication..He is the one who always failed to communicate.


when i left our country, the situation got worse. until one day, i met a guy through common friends. later on, the treatment became special and he started to give some special attention and time too.. the utmost thing i have been longing for. and finally, he proposed to me in which i didn't doubt to accept.

days passed as we tried to adjust to one another's attitude, we found out that a lot of things we are not comfortable at. he became so possessive that i can't even find time for myself to rest. he wanted to see me everyday. he wanted to talk to me almost every hour. i felt like almost losing my freedom.

After a couple of months of being in relation with him, i gave up! I broke up with him. he begged for me not to but i was too hard on him. i was firm with my decision. then, someone close to him sent an email to me stating that he had a rheumatic heart disease and kidney malfunction. due to that situation, he only have countable days to live for. so i give him another chance.

now my question is, how can i release myself from him considering his condition? is it right to fool him that i love him when in fact i'm tired of being with him? or continue fooling myself just to make him happy for his days left? i admit he's also special for me, but committing myself to him..i don't think i can live with it!

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