too complicated for a title

by jenna
(michigan)

Me and this boy have liked each other for 2 years. But for the first year he was going back and forth between me and his ex. As soon as she got out of the picture we got really close.. but through all of this he still treated me horrible, So I would never show him my true love for him because i didn't think he deserved it. I found a boy who treated me better and the truth came out from him on how i was making a big mistake.. so as soon as I ended it with this other boy. he told me he liked someone else now... so then he went back and forth between us and I told him I wasn't going to do this again. If he really loves me like he said then he'd follow me. So i told him I was done and he picked the other girl and a week later he also told me he had sex threes months before when we talked about loosing our virginity to each other MANY of times after that and he still kept his mouth shut and lied to me. So I was like fuck you... I don't care anymore. But one night we were both drunk and he cheated on his girlfriend with me... but he lied to his girlfriend and made me look bad so I was REALLY done with him I was so pissed but soon after that I lost my virginity and he said it hurt him and we didn't talk for a couple months.. It hurt me so bad. I had no one to turn to and I didn't know what to do. I loved him.. and he just lied to me and he clearly didn't love me if he didn't choose me. But he called me the other night and told me that everything is so hard for him because she doesn't compare to me, but I don't know what hes scared of... I'm here waiting for him still, but he wont break up with her.I don't know what to do. I'm sick of looking for other boys because no one compares to what me and him had. I'm trying to move on but it still doesn't help when he calls and I cant help but to pick up.

help. :(