undecisive love
(tx)
everything started along with junior high. i had good new friends, what could be wrong? i started to like one of my friends, *j. i didn't want to act on my feelings, but my best friend, *g, made me.
it was going well with my new bf until *g started flirting with him, AND HE WAS FLIRTING BACK! i dumped him that day, and i thought that my feelings for him were gone. then, a year later, we were still friends, but he asked out *g on my birthday. i started getting my feelings for him back and he said that he still loved me and *g and i broke up as friends after a year of fighting over him.
then, he says that he still loves me again, but i was angry and depressed, so i said that i didn't feel the same. then, the next day, the day before my birthday, he asked out my friend *m. again, i got jealous, and when she dumped him a week later, i told him how i felt and accidentally became the rebound.
one day, when we were just talking and walking down the hallway after school, he pulled me into a corner and we made out for a while... apparently i am a good kisser. then he told our friends about us making out and he asked me out but i was pissed about him violating my privacy. i said no. we had on and off relationships that whole year, but every time we stopped dating, he was dating my friend *e.
then, he started attempting to date *e and he was cheating on her with me. he kept wanting me to have sex and i keep telling him that i wasn't ready. he got upset, but then he said that he loved me anyway.
after a while of this, me and *e are standing outside after school one day and *j walks by. he walks right past me and wraps *e in a tight hug and stays there for a few minutes, whispers in her ear a few times then leaves without so much as a good-bye to me. that was when i had a major epiphany. i didn't need him anymore. i didn't love him anymore. i was over him and i was finally happy with myself. i told him and he said that he still loved me. i told him to let me be happy and free, and i am never looking back.