Who do I pick?

by Misty Armstrong
(Jonesboro, Louisiana, USA)

Dear Laura,


I'm only 12 years old, and I'm in 7th grade, but I'm very confused. In 4th grade I started crushing a guy named Matthew, he was popular and I wasn't. In 5th grade, he found out I liked him and he laughed right in my face, and repeatedly said, "is this a joke?"

Every time I see him, I cry and hurt inside. He moved to another school and I was relieved. He moved back a little later this year.

Matthew began to like my friend Mallory in 5th grade. And he flirts with her right in front of me. I feel like he knows I like him, but I don't know. And even today, he told Mallory he was going to tell her a secret, and he kissed her, I saw him kiss her and it really hurt me. I felt like somebody was kicking me in my stomach, and I just ran to the corner and started crying.

I met a guy named Drew, and he's perfect, his smile, his laugh, and his eyes. I really like him, he knows it, but he never acted like it. He moved to another school and it broke my heart. I felt like my heart was being ripped out again. I text him frequently, but it doesn't help me.

I really like him, but I don't know what to do. I have a feeling Matthew likes me now, but Matthew can be a jerk at times, and Drew is always nice and sweet to me. I want to date both of them, but I've tried a long distance relationship before and it didn't work out. Drew is nicer and more compassionate, but he's not here anymore and I can't see him everyday. Who should I choose?


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Nov 13, 2009
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See Who is Best for You
by: Anonymous

I disagree with the person below me. You should talk to them both and see which one is better for you. People can change. Have some faith. Good luck.

Nov 13, 2009
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Don't Date Anyone
by: Abigail Hunter

You're too young to know what you really want. Don't date Matthew because he will only play with your heart. Just keep talking with Drew and see where that goes. You will meet someone who is right for you as you get older.

Mar 02, 2009
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which guy to pick
by: Letha

Ok, so I think you're too young to be dating, but I understand how you feel, so I think you should, just like, be single until you think you're ready emotionally to date and deal with choices like that.

Mar 02, 2009
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who to pick?
by: Anonymous

Pick the one who likes you for who you are =]

Mar 01, 2009
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Live your life
by: Anonymous

You are way too young, but just date the guy you like the most. I'm going to tell you something my mother always told me: you're only in 7th grade and it's time for you to live your life, but alone. Once you get into 9th or 10th grade you'll find the perfect match and I'm sure it will be a new guy. Well all I need to say is GOOD LUCK and seriously, live your life.


*GOD BLESS*

Feb 28, 2009
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you can answer
by: Anonymous

You are very young and should wait for an relationship. Wait until you are in high school about in the 9th or 10th grade. Just worry about school. Then one day you can choose. Do what's in your heart. Nobody can tell you who to do or who to pick. only you can do that. hope you find what you're looking for.

Feb 27, 2009
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" Not Either "
by: Penny

Dearest Laura,

I know your feelings are real to you, but what do you actually know about emotions? You are very young and inexperenced about this matter give your self time to grow emotionally so you don't make a mistake. I give you a lot of credit for knowing long distance relationships don't work, seeing that Matthew is not a good person and you took the time to ask for another opinion; you're doing fine. That's why I agree with you neither one would be a good choice you are thinking so don't let your under develop emotions blind you. The fact that you aren't emotionally develop confused you so remain smart, the answer is simple, "neither one, don't choose either".

Feb 27, 2009
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Who to choose
by: Ruby Star

I agree with what the others said on here, and if you do choose one of them, let it be the guy that is more compassionate toward you, even if he does live farther away. First of all, you need to tell him how much you like him, and if you both feel the same and truly care for each other, then you can make it work whether or not you live away from each other or not! But it has to be what both partners want, and you both have to be willing to make sacrifices to do that if you really care for one another. Forget about the guy that likes your friend, Even if he does start liking you, You deserve better and he is not worth it!! Never let any man disrespect you in any way, and dont be afraid to speak up if they do and dont be afraid to express how you feel for someone you care about. Just dont allow them to use your feelings to their advantage! It's ok to want to date, but dont get too serious too fast with anyone at your age. Hope everything works out, Best wishes to you and your future!!

Feb 27, 2009
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Self Esteem
by: Spiritually-Minded

I feel for you because these are hard choices to be making at your age and in the stage of your life when your main choices should be where you and your friends are going to hang out. I noticed in your letter that you used the terms," I feel like he knows I like him," and "I really like him, he knows it, but he never acted like it. If you are interested in these guys you should make sure you tell them straight up and don't just assume that they can read your mind. Word to the wise, it is ok to like someone and not date them. What you need to understand is that you have to be in control of your emotions and that their is more to a guy then his eyes and his smile. You need to make sure that you know them, that they know you, that you can trust one another, and that you can be honest with one another. You need to learn how to communicate your feelings. I don't think that you are ready to date until you build up your self esteem. You deserve respect from them not just laughs but you first need to respect yourself. Hope this helps.

Feb 27, 2009
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Who do you choose??
by: Anonymous

Neither. You are 12 years old. Enjoy your teen years because they fly by so fast. You will have plenty of time to worry about love when you are older. Trust me, I remember those days. Get good grades in school, go to a good college and choose a career where you can support yourself.

As far as guys go, don't ever let a boy/man disrespect you. If you let him, he will NEVER have any respect for you. Be picky about who you choose. The moment you stop showing this boy that you dont like him, he will be asking himself "Why dosent she like me anymore" and then you will notice him acting different toward you...and you know what you're going to do? Walk away from him! Show him how it feels and tell him that you deserve someone who cherishes you.

Good luck!

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