why do i feel like this

Hi Laura,


I was in a relationship about 4 years ago, but as i was in the relationship i started realizing that something was missing and did not really want to be in that relationship. Once I just called the relationship off but I felt bad because i hurt him so we got back together... I guess i was rather confused, but i always had those feelings in the back of my mind. Once my mother found out and I called the relationship off for good. I felt miserable, he did not want to break up but i did not see any other choice. I did not feel as if i was really willing to be in that relationship but at the same time i was confused, but after that i got over it and started dating someone else and we have been in a relationship for 3 years now and i really love him. but sometimes i wonder if what i did was right or not, when i look back and think i know that i would not want to be with that guy... what is your insight on this situation? and how should i avoid thinking about my past?

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May 23, 2009
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Breakup Regrets
by: Anonymous

You still think about him, and you wonder if you did the right thing. This is very common after ending a relationship. Most of us may feel guilty about it. You want to forget him, and that may not be the best. Pretending something never happened can really come back and bite you. I know, it happened to me. I ended up seeing the guy while I was out on a date and couldn't even explain who he was.

The best thing to do is write about him or talk to a friend about him. you'll feel better and won't have to worry or feel guilty about it.

How to really get to know the person you are dating

May 13, 2009
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Self pity
by: OLUCHI

I read your message and I understand your plight. You are right by calling off the relationship since you are not fulfilled. Good relationships are not built on self pity because it will work against you later. He will soon get over the breakup.

May 12, 2009
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True love is clear
by: Anonymous

When I read your story, I felt like commenting on it even though I don't know much about love & relationships. I have never been in a long term relationship (because I personally think it's boring), but one thing I know is, when something is right for you, you will have a nice feeling about it, not pity or confusion.

Once you feel that something is missing with that boyfriend, be confident that you guys didn't fit together. And when you felt bad for breaking up with him because he was hurt, that's not good because pity is not love and being with someone just because they want you or you make them happy, that's just not love. What can I say? Just be yourself and remember you can only make someone else happy when you are actually happy with them.

One more thing, when you feel bad about something because you really want it, but you lose it by mistake, you can never get it out of your mind until you got back to it. So if you don't really want him, sooner or later you will forget about him. Get over it!

I hope I helped.

May 12, 2009
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Where to begin...
by: Anonymous

If you are anything like me, I overanalyze everything and I myself just ended a 20 year (on again, off again relationship.) For many reasons I left him for good about 7 months ago. It was hard and you always have regrets and what ifs.. But honestly you are the only person who knows what is good for you and take a life lesson from me, life is too short to waste on a relationship that isn't working.

I sometimes have dreams about my ex and I wonder if I did the right thing, but in the end I have to trust my gut instinct to know I did the right thing. Write a letter of closure to him, but when you are done, burn it (safely) and in your heart you get out what you wanted to say and it does help you move on! Get yourself busy, volunteer, there are many things to keep you busy and lots of help is needed in this crazy world of ours! Good Luck to you! God Bless.

May 12, 2009
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hey
by: caroline

I know exactly how you feel. Just sometimes you have to do something that's hard. Let go in this case because in this relationship both people are not happy and will lead to bigger problems. Hope I helped. Good luck.

May 12, 2009
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Hi There!
by: Cindy

Something made me want to comment on your post.
I sort of know what you mean by "you've been confused." The past is over. Look into the future.

You are in a good relationship now. Be happy about that. The guy who you broke up with probably couldn't provide you with certain things you wanted. So it is better to break up than to hold on to an unsatisfactory boyfriend. God bless you and may good days follow you. :)

May 12, 2009
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You will get over him
by: Anonymous

To tell you the truth I understand what you are going through. I was in a relationship for two years. Everything was okay, but after awhile, things started to change. We started arguing a lot and I decided that I could not take it anymore. I broke up with him, but I felt bad but I did not return to him. I tried my very best to get over it, and now I am over him and he is over me. He doesn't call anymore, and he was constantly ringing off my phone and sending messages.

So don't worry. You wll eventually get over him.

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