why she has asked to back off

by Kenneth M
(spartanburg sc)

My girlfriend and i have been together for a year now. Her husband who she has been separated from for almost 2 years now still wants her back. There is nothing to fight over and now after asking me to back off she is going to do this now. Her girls don't approve of her seeing me or going to church with me because legally she isn't divorced yet. She has talked with me about our future goals and wants with each other and at times i feel she is telling me what i want to hear. I know she loves me and my son and enjoys being with us, she is being tugged by her kids and me pressuring her to get this divorce and wanting to spend more time with her. I have given it 100% and she knows she hasn't. She wants to back off and not text, talk, email till the divorce. She says that she needs god and she hopes i will not lean towards another woman for comfort, that that would devastate her. She thinks time is what we need and the divorce till we can try it again. I know i throw negative responses at her and over jealous and trust, it's because i have been hurt before by separated women and that they all went back to their exes. My worry is she says she loves us both and wants me to forgive her. i can't because of how i have fallen and worked up with dreams and aspirations. My question is how long do i wait before i see i need to move on and will she come back if i honor her wishes? I want so bad to talk to her and hold her. I know she knows i'm a great man and have done more for her than any other has. It's the divorce not happening yet and the girls and her doing what's wrong in gods eyes. I feel i am at my lowest in hurting. That i don't want to go on. Please guide me....

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Mar 04, 2012
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Footsteps of Jesus!
by: Prof. Barbara Reall

I have to admit that she does sound as though she was and is in the footsteps of Jesus. Being married and not having gotten her divorce yet, she does know that she cannot go down "another path" until it has been accepted that a divorce is needed. We cannot travel down "another route" until this does happen, definitely. It also sounds like she does have great feelings for you, but "time will tell" when the divorce does happen legally and perhaps spiritually. Just share with her your love and respect and she will respond to you definitely if she receives what is required regarding her previous marriage. She apparently does have love and respect in her mind and heart for Jesus. Obviously, the future is something which needs to be changed. The mightiest word is LOVE! "Walk forward in that light."
"God closses one door, He will open another one!" HAVE FAITH. BE PREPARED. TRUST IN HIM.
Prof. Barbara

Mar 04, 2012
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She is insecure; holding both
by: Anonymous

Wow, I feel badly for you at this moment! Good men with good hearts are precious. Give her space and time to come to terms with what she wants and needs. Spend time and focus on yourself and your son. Arrange this with her, and agree on the amount of time to separate. At least 30 days, though. No contact. If she comes back to you, take it slow slow slow. People who separate and divorce do so because things were not good for a period of time before they split -- it takes about equal time to heal and be ready to move forward with life. You sound like a kind and gentle soul, and good for her. Be just as good for yourself. And, Godbless and Godspeed in you finding your happiness.

Mar 04, 2012
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MOVE ON SOME FISHY WITH THAT
by: Anonymous

LISTIN THAT SELFISH OF HER FOR HER TO TELL YOU TO WAIT TILL HER DIVIORCE THEY BEEN SEPARATED FOR TWO YEARS NOW AND THAT HAVENT DONE THE PAPERS EITHER SHE STILL LOVES HIME AND CANT MAKE UP HER MIND.. SHE DOESNT KNOW WHATY SHE Wants if she didt she wouldent BE LISTIN TO HER FRIENDS ID SAY I KNOW YOU TWO HAVE HAD A GREAT RELASHUNSHIP IT MIGHT NOT BE EASY TO FIND ANOTHER GREAT WOMAN BUT I WOULD NOT PUT MY RELASHUNSHIP ON MY HOLD BEACAUSE SHE DOEST KNOW IF SHE WANT A DIVORCE I WOULD WAIT AT ALL IF THE PAPERS ARENT FILLED NOW THAN DOES THAT TELL U ANYTHING IF THERY ARE FILLED NOW I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND Y SHE WANT YALL TO COOL IT TILL IT FINAL

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