Your Cheating Spouse - How to Heal Your Marriage and Restore Trust
How do you get past the actions of your cheating spouse when he or she has betrayed you? The inability to regain trust after an affair is the number one reason that such marriages often end in divorce, but this does not have to be your story. You can heal. Believe it not, the affair can actually make your marriage stronger. But if you are the injured party, how do you get past the images that keep replaying in your mind? And how do you know for sure whether or not your spouse is still lying?
Problem was: Mary no longer trusted him, so everything Dave did and said was under suspicion. It was just part of the process of dealing with a cheating spouse. Since Mary wasn't convinced that he had answered all her questions truthfully, at the suggestion of her therapist, she took things one step further. She asked her husband to take a polygraph to make sure that he told her everything that she needed to know, so that they could rebuild their marriage from ground zero.
While Dave was initially offended by this because it made him feel like a criminal, he needed to realize that in Mary's eyes, he was. After all, he had "robbed her" of their physical intimacy and he had "stolen her trust." While polygraphs are only about 65-70% accurate, they do provide much-needed proof that the information provided by the cheater is true. This can help the injured party start to feel like she can trust her spouse again.
Of course, a polygraph may not be necessary if you and your spouse can learn how to be transparent in your relationship. After all, the lack of honesty is what led to the affair. Couples who do not honestly express their needs cannot expect their spouses to meet them. This is what often prompts someone to look outside the marriage to get his or her needs met.
The only way to truly get past the behavior of your cheating spouse is to use transparency to heal your marriage. After all the inability to rebuild trust is the number one reason that a couples cannot rebuild their marriage. The good news is that learning to be transparent is a process that can be learned. And you don't necessarily have to go to a therapist. One good program teaches transparency step by step while also helping you get over the hurt caused by your cheating spouse. If you feel your marriage is worth saving, then this program will help.
Best of all, by learning to be transparent, you will bring a richness and depth to your marriage that you didn't have before the affair. And although it may hurt something terrible right now, this is the hidden blessing in an affair. By going through the healing process, you both will deepen your commitment to your marriage and emerge as two stronger, more courageous individuals who stay together because you enjoy and appreciate each other.
If you'd like to comment on this article or share your story about a cheating spouse or partner, please use the box below.
Resources for Dealing with a Cheating Spouse
Have A Great Story About This Topic?
Do you have a story about this or comment about the article above? Share it!
Dealing with a Cheating Spouse Stories & Comments
Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...
Love and Trust
Betrayal x 3 Not rated yet
New! CommentsHave your say about what you just read! Leave me a comment in the box below.